My husband and I just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. We have just 2 more years until we will be married as long as my parents were before they divorced. Growing up as their marriage fell apart taught me many lessons that I was able to take into my own marriage.
Here are our 15 tips for a happy marriage:
#15 – Watch a television show together
This might seem like a silly tip, but it is one that we have always done and enjoyed. Pick a show and watch it together. Don’t cheat and watch an episode without your spouse. It is 30 minutes – 1 hour that you can sit together and be entertained.
#14 – Take The Love Languages quiz
Take the 5 Love Languages Quiz to see what each of your’s love language is. It will give insight into your spouse’s thinking and what you can do to help them feel loved and appreciated.
#13 – Tell your spouse what you want
Don’t assume your spouse is a mind reader. Speak up and tell them exactly what you want or need. If you need time to write, tell them. If you need help with the housework, tell them. If you aren’t handling an emotion well, tell them.
#12 – Have a date night at home once a week
Prepare a meal or pick up take out and pop in a movie or even play a board game. Spend some time together enjoying one another’s company. It is an inexpensive way to connect with your spouse.
#11 – Buy your spouse a little something each week without being asked
Show your spouse you are thinking about them by picking up a little something for them each week. It can be as small as a bottle of soda or a gallon of tea. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Just pick them up something without being asked to show them you are thinking of them.
#10 – Spend at least 10 minutes a day talking without distractions
Set a timer if you need to, but plan on spending at least 10 minutes a day talking to your spouse without distractions and make sure you really listen to them!
#9 – Split the duties
Don’t assume one person can do it all! Split the household duties both inside and outside the house. And if you ever need help, make sure you ask them for it! Don’t assume they can read your mind.
#8 – Have a date outside the home at least once a month
It doesn’t have to be expensive. Even a picnic to the park would work. And you don’t have to leave the kids behind if you don’t have a babysitter. Just get out of the house and spend time with your spouse.
#7 – Have a budget
Money is one of the biggest triggers for fights between couples. Have a budget that tells your money where to go. You can even give each spouse a weekly personal allowance that allows them to spend their money on anything they want without having to talk to the other spouse. Check out my Saving for Disney course to learn more!
#6 – Be considerate of the other person’s feelings
Just like you consider the feelings of your friends, always consider the feelings of your spouse. Apologize if you make a mistake. Excuse yourself if you fart. Be respectful and kind just like you are to other people in your life.
#5 – Have a common interest – like Disney!
Sharing a common interest is a great way to engage with your spouse. Find something that you are both interested in that you can do together. For us, it is Disney. We both love it, enjoy talking about it and definitely enjoy visiting it.
#4 – Vow to never go to bed mad
Don’t let things fester. Take the time to resolve them before bed. Be willing to listen to the other person without reservation. Sometimes you have to concede in order to end the fight. But come to a resolution before you lay your head down at night.
#3 – Give each other space
Let your spouse have a night out with the friends, talk on the phone in private or head out the door for some alone time. Everyone needs their space and be willing to give your spouse theirs.
#2 – Don’t force your spouse to be around your family
This is a big one. I’ve always heard that when you marry your spouse, you marry their family. But that doesn’t have to be the case! If your spouse doesn’t get along or like some of your family, don’t force them to attend get togethers. It will save stress and headache….trust me!
#1 – Put God first
If you have God first in your marriage, you will have a healthy, loving relationship with your spouse. Attend church together, do a bible study, pray together. Just keep God front and center.
I hope that helps you and your spouse!