The Last Watermelon of the Season.
(If you, like me, are a child of the 80s, feel free to read this in your best The Last Unicorn voice. “The red buuuuuulllllllll.” “The last watermeeeeelooooon.”
Quick tangent, do you guys remember The Last Unicorn?? In making that joke just now, I was trying to remember anything else about that movie and I know there is a talking butterfly and maybe also a talking cat? And the Red Bull, obviously, has it out for the unicorns, but why? What did the unicorns do to him? Was it a turf war between Red Bulls and Unicorns? Are there other Red Bulls? Should this movie have been called The Last Red Bull?)
Anyway, like I was saying about watermelon…
Okay, wait, one sec. In posing that question I became genuinely curious about the plot of The Last Unicorn. SPOILERS FOR THE LAST UNICORN. (A movie released almost 30 years ago.)
Oh, this looks like a nice film. A unicorn. A rainbow. Very peaceful and comforting for small children. WRONG.
Y’all, that movie is dark. An evil king is using the Red Bull to eliminate the unicorns for reasons and then the last unicorn gets turned into a human because hijinks and the son of the evil king, a moderately nice prince, falls in love with the unicorn, but their love cannot because she is a unicorn and he is a hooman, but in the end they defeat the Red King and the Evil Bull, and now the Unicorn has known regret, and that’s it?
Nothing to see here, just some evil, terrifying nightmare creature seeking to complete a magical genocide. Kids movie!
I was right: there is a talking butterfly. And also a veeeeeery upsetting scene where the Unicorn is being kept in like, a magical zoo, and the zoo animals turn on the witch (?) running the terrible, oppressive zoo, and she seems to welcome death? Did you see this as a child? Why did I see this as a child?? Why does this seem so much darker to me than say, a movie about a girl who loses her voice to a sea witch, or a girl who is turned into a frog by a shadow man, or a young man from an impoverished background who is tricked and targeted by a wizard? I know this is a series about groceries, and I’m ostensibly writing about watermelons, but now all I can think about is unicorns and the themes of children’s movies. I desperately want to know your thoughts.
This bear’s face is my face, the further I dive into The Last Unicorn.
And to think, it all started with a joke about a movie I only had vague recollections of.
I guess now we’ll pivot to watermelons?
I have a love/hate relationship with watermelons. I love them the first day or two, and things go South quickly thereafter.
Watermelon is delicious. I’m not here to argue that. The problem is this. Watermelon goes on sale (hooray!). I buy the watermelon for a pittance (smart!). I get home and cut the watermelon. (handy!) The watermelon quadruples in size, resulting in roughly 8,631 servings of watermelon (how?). My children happily eat watermelon for two to three days (mom is a hero!). Then they get sick of watermelon (so quick!). But there are still approximately 8,615 servings of watermelon left (don’t waste food, kids!). And then I spend the next week as the monster demanding my children eat watermelon for every meal (watermelon sandwiches! watermelon soup! watermelon salad! watermelon with a side of watermelon!)
It is true what they say. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a fruit pushing villain.
- Bananas, 2.01 lb-$1.19.
- Beechnut Baby Food Pouches (2)-$2.
- Blueberries, 18 oz (2)-$9.96. I have no idea why I spent to much on blueberries. Did I think they were cheaper? Did I think I only had one in my cart? No clue.
- Boar’s Head Pepperoni, .5 lb-$4.93.
- Clementines, 3 lb-$2.99.
- Creamette Pasta-$1.25.
- Fuji Apples, 3.33 lb-$4.30.
- Green Grapes, 2.52 lb-$2.35. In-store sale, $.99 a pound!
- Heritage Farm Chicken Breasts, 4.47 lb-$8.90.
- Honey Bunches of Oats (2)-$1.98. Buy X, Save Y made them $.99 each.
- Kroger Sausage, 1 lb-$3.49.
- Merry Estate Gouda-$4.59.
- Multigrain Cheerios (2)-$2.98. Buy X, Save Y makes them $1.99 each, stacked with a *Digital Coupon* for $1 off of two General Mills cereals.
- Parmigiano Reggiano-$3.40.
- Pepperidge Farm Milano Cookies-$2.49. My final item of the Buy X, Save Y.
- Private Selection Angus Steak, 4.67 lb-$27.98. In-store sale, $5.99 a pound.
- Private Selection Bread (2) -$3.98.
- Private Selection Honey Turkey, .5 lb-$4.05.
- Private Selection Triple Berry Preserves-$3.29.
- Red Grapes, 2.58 lb-$2.50. In-store sale, $.99 a pound!
- Red Leaf Lettuce .91 lb-$1.54.
- Roma Tomato, 1.14 lb-$1.13.
- Simple Truth Almond Milk (2)-$5.
- Simple Truth Baby Food Pouches (7)-$8.33.
- Apps I’ll submit to: Fetch Rewards, CoinOut
Total Budget: $106.25
Total Spent: $118.75
Deducted from Other Budgets: $12.50.
(Okay, but one more thing about The Last Unicorn. Why does the King hate unicorns so much? And like, where did he get the Red Bull? Did he find a bull and train it to hate unicorns? Or was the Red Bull acquired because of his specific intolerance of unicorns? I have so many questions.)
What is your relationship to watermelons? What is your relationship to unicorns? Tell me everything.
Kristen B. is wife to the best Prince around, mama to the spunkiest little princesses, and lover of all things Disney. She started her savings journey five years ago and is now dedicated to making her family’s wishes come true one coupon at a time. She is so excited to take her love of saving to the next level and share her journey with you! Click here to catch up on Kristen’s Savings and join in on your own savings adventure!