It has finally happened. I have been so foolish at the grocery store that another customer had to step in. To save me from myself. And further embarrassment.
(Addressing the Dumbo in the tent: I know that the last grocery post was dated 11/3. I also know that’s like, four months ago. But I really wanted to write about this trip. So I’m thinking of grocery posts in terms of the MCU. I’m going to tell the stories I want, when I want to and the timeline will all make sense by the end. Consider this the Captain Marvel of grocery trips. Higher, further, kroger!)
I have written before about the little plastic bags of doom that are ostensibly for produce. I have come to the conclusion that their real purpose is for torture. Of me. I don’t know if it’s all the hand sanitizer or my diminishing abilities, but I cannot open those things to save my life. You know this. I wrote a whole post about it. I eventually had to bring home one of the bags because I couldn’t open it and couldn’t leave it there after I touched it and it was a big mess.
You may have thought, since I haven’t touched on the subject since, that I have made my peace with the little plastic bags. That through fortune or favor of the grocery fairies, I learned how to open the little plastic produce bags of doom and have had stress free shopping experiences. You thought so, so wrong.
Every two trips I feel like I have an incident with the doom baggies. Did I tell you guys about the time that it took me so long to open one that a LINE formed behind me at the tomatoes? And other tomato shoppers sighed audibly at how long I was taking? Did I tell you about the time that I tried a bag, couldn’t get it to work, tried another one, couldn’t get it to work, and then just shoved those in my purse and went to look at cheese? That literally happened. It was fresh off the Tomato Incident, so I was raw, emotionally. After my second failed bag, I thought the best thing to do was to give myself a break and try again at the end of the grocery trip.
There have been a dozen small, bag related injustices I have faced. But this week takes the cake.
It came down to onions. I needed a bag for onions. And I was doing my thing, struggling with the bag, cursing my lot in life, thanking the stars I was masked so no one could see my grimace. I’ve had to do my shopping Monday nights (more on that in a future post. Or a past post, depending. Timeline!) If you couldn’t guess, Mondays after working hours are a lot busier than Tuesday mornings. So there were more people than usual to witness the calamity that is me.
After what seemed like six hours, a fellow shopper could no longer take it.
“Ma’m? Excuse me?”
I look up, terrified, like that popular meme of a surprised cat.
“I was told, by someone who works here, if you just get one of your fingers a little wet, the bag will open easily.”
“It will?” I manage to croak out, grateful for the intel, but instinctively distrusting of anything bag of doom related.
“It will! I have no idea why, but there you go.”
“Sure, no problem.
And then, I am not kidding y’all, I saw this kindly gentleman round the corner, AND PRETEND TO BE LOOKING AT BANANAS WHILE I TRIED THE BAG TRICK. “Oh Kristen B,” you say, “stop being so paranoid. Maybe he just wanted bananas.” Then explain to me why, as soon as I opened the bag with a triumphant, “AHA!”, he moved on. With no bananas in his cart. Hmmmm? The only other answer I will accept is that he is actually a grocery fairy.
(The trick totally does work, by the way. I put one little finger lightly on my lettuce and bam! The bag opened at the slightest touch.)
- Angus Steak, 2.38 lb -$16.64.
- Asparagus, 2.10 lb-$1.62. *Digital Coupon* for $.77 a pound.
- Bananas, 2.32 lb-$1.37.
- Barella Fettuccine-$1.49.
- Beechnut Baby Food Pouches (2)-$.2.
- Bell Peppers (4)-$3.96. In-store sale, $.99 each.
- Ben & Jerrys (4)-$9.96. In-store Buy Ice Cream, Save XQ sale made these $2.49 each.
- Boar’s Head Pepperoni, .75 lb-$7.12.
- Clementines, 5lb-$4.99.
- Dark Horse Pinot Noir-$6.01. True story, I got this for cooking. And it was advertised as $7.99, which I thought was a steal. But then it was even more of a steal!
- Fuji Apples, 4.86 lb-$7.24.
- Heritage Farm Chicken Breasts, 4.48 lb -$8.92.
- Kroger Buttermilk-$.99.
- Merry Estate Gouda-$4.19. Manager’s Special!
- Mom’s Best Cereal (2)-$2.98. $1.49 each with the Buy Stuff, Save Dollars sale.
- Nectarines, 2.09 lb-$2.07. In-store sale, $.99 a pound.
- Private Selection Honey Turkey, .25-$1.87.
- Private Selection Whole Wheat Bread-$1.99.
- Private Selection Sweet Hawaiian Bread-$1.99.
- Private Selection Ice Cream, .5 gal (2)-$5.98. *Digital Coupon* for $2.99 each.
- Red Leaf Lettuce-$1.49.
- Salmon Filet, 1.54 lb-$10.43. *Digital Coupon* for $6.77 a pound.
- Silk Almond Milk, .5 gal (2)-$3.98. In-store, Buy X, Save Q sale.
- Simply Orange Juice-$3.50.
- Strawberries, 16 oz (4)-$6. They were $1.50 each!
- Tomatoes on the Vine, 1.68 lb-$3.01.
- Vidal Onions, 2.85 lb-$2.82. In-store sale, $.99 a pound.
- Apps I’ll submit to: Fetch Rewards, CoinOut, Dabbl
Total Budget: $110 (More on that in a past/future/parallel timeline post!)
Total Spent: $130.21
Total Saved: $53.40
Deducted from Next Week: $20.21
Did y’all know about this bag of doom trick? Why didn’t you tell me? Have you ever engaged in embarrassing behavior and a fellow shopper had to step in? Tell me in the comments!
Kristen B. is wife to the best Prince around, mama to the spunkiest little princesses, and lover of all things Disney. She started her savings journey three years ago and is now dedicated to making her family’s wishes come true one coupon at a time. She is so excited to take her love of saving to the next level and share her journey with you! Click here to catch up on Kristen’s Savings and join in on your own savings adventure!