I wrote the life story of my son. It helped to heal my heart a little. I have published it so you can read it if you want. I know some of you won’t want to and that is perfectly fine. Just don’t tell me you didn’t want to read it. ;)
The brief life story of my sweet Andrew
Thank you for sharing your story….and your transparency…I am a wife/mother/grandmother/pastor’s wife…I have never experienced this loss…but I know the Lord can comfort you as only He can! Your time with Baby Andrew was brief here on earth, but in Heaven it will be for eternity!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish there was a book out there full of stories like this. I think it would help other mother’s with their loss. My sister lost her full term baby in July. I am making her a cd and would like to know if you would share your song list with me from the cd that you made. I also appreciate the picture you shared. I was able to share the pictures of Emma with some of my close friends.
Kristen,
Thank you for sharing your story. I also when through the similar loss. It has been two and a half years. I will go back 9 years, November 8, 2001. My husband and I were blessed with a handsome health son. Our lives were going good. We started trying again for another child 3 years later. We tried for 2 years. In that 2 years we lost my husband’s mother(2004), brother(2005), and father(2006). We now know that God knew we could not handle a 3 year old and a newborn will losing his family. A week after my husband’s father died we found out we were expecting again. A happy and sad time. We found out that we were expecting a daughter. She was born in April. So beautiful. We had decided not to have anymore children. But God had other plans. We found out 8 months later that we were expecting again. I was in denial for so long. My husband kept telling me everything would be okay. We starting looking for a new house. I had started to get excited in August. I could feel the baby. My husband had went and picked up our son for kindergarten and had went home the him and a daughter while I went for a regular check up. I was suppose to find out what we were having in a week. I went in everything seemed normal. Until the nurse came in and could not find a heartbeat. She did not tell me this. She went and got the doctor. He immediately came in to find one. Not a sound. He then told me what was going on. He sent me to get an ultrasound. They could not find one. I was heartbroken. I had come there me and my baby and now I felt all alone. The doctor said I could go ahead a deliver or wait till over the weekend. I told him I would wait. I was in shock. I could not let go yet. I got myself together. Did not shed a single tear. I still had to get home and tell my husband a children. I called my husband on the way home, bad idea. I just told him “we lost the baby” and hung up. It took all I had to get home. I cried the most I had ever cried in my life that night. I asked God had he not taken enough from my family. I thought he was blessing me not punishing me. During the weekend I called my mother and sister. On Sunday, we took the kids to my parents house. So Monday I could go through with the deliver. My husband and I went to eat that night. I could not keep anything down. I did not sleep that night. I just keep my hands on my baby bump all night. Rubbing the baby and telling him I was so sorry. I could not have been a better mommy to him. I told him “It was not that I did not want him, I always wanted him”. I got to the hospital that morning. They put me at the opposite end of the floor. So I would be as far away from the deliveries as possible. I could still hear the chime when one was born. I had never had a hard delivery with either of my children. But this was so hard. Maybe it was the lose that made it so hard. I delivered my son, Connor, 6 hours later. My doctor told me it would be best to not look. So I did not. My husband did. That is something I will forever regret. I think about him often. I do not tell my husband though. He thinks that I am okay with it. But even two and a half years later I think about him everyday. My daughter started preschool this fall and he would be starting to. I see the other little boys his age and think that would be him. I don’t think I will be able to have another child. I think about it. We have talked about it. But I always think of Connor the son I lost.
Well thanks for letting me talk. I have never talked about him. I am truly sorry for your lose of Andrew. He was a beautiful child. Maybe he is in heaven playing with my Connor.
I cried upon reading it.
I was touched by one sentence the most since it really relates to me. “I had forgotten to pray for a healthy baby”
I always forget to pray and I always remember after a big bump and realize it after it is too late.
Know for sure that you have touched many people with your story including me. I am and you are too thankful for having our kids.
And by the way, your baby is beautiful!
It is so touching to read your experience. For so many women to have gone through this, very little is written about it openly. It is so comforting for others to read your story and know that they are not alone. My heart and prayers are with you and your family~
I just want you to know what a special woman you are. I have known since I started reading this blog, your big heart shines through even the simplest of posts about a deal.
My heart hurts so badly for you right now. Little Andrew is lucky to have a mother as wonderful and caring as you. I’m glad he will be your families angel to guard, guide and protect you all.
Keep shining brightly because you have touched so many.
I finally had time to sit down quietly last night and read the story of Andrew’s life. What an amazing tribute you have made to your precious little one. I shared many emotions that you had while reading that story-joy, happiness, laughter, fear, and sorrow. I cried for a long time and have tears in my eyes while replying. I’m so glad you have the photos of your sweet baby boy and the time that you were able to spend with him when he was born. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. He was an amazing part of your life and it’s great that you have those to reflect on. Prayers will continue for you and your amazing family that you will continue with your strength and courage.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story, it was absolutely beautiful!
My heart is with you and your family and I will be praying for you! While I know that no words can make you feel better, so I just want to leave a little note so say that I am thinking about you!
Thank you for sharing the life of Andrew.
No words can make you feel better. You have experienced the worst loss that a parent can go through. I hope that you can find peace in your heart. You are in my thoughts and prayers and so is your family. Know that there is no perfect way to grieve a child and take your life day by day, hour by hour, or minute by minute. Feel the comfort of Andrew’s love over you.
Hi Kristin, I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am to hear of you loss. Your eloquent tribute to little Andrew was so well written. You have a way with words. What a sweet photo of your beautiful baby boy. You are an amazing picture of strength and grace. I hope that each day gets brighter and I know you will carry Andrew in your heart all your days. Peace & prayers to you and your family.
Shara
i just want you to know how beautiful that was. what a great idea to write the story of his life, no matter how short. i will most definitely remember this story forever. i have never been pregnant and do not think i can. i was born with a birth defect that required me to have a partial hysterectomy as a teenager. my doctors have always said that i can get pregnant, but i am not sure i believe it because it hasnt happened yet. we are not ready and have never ‘tried’ to get pregnant but i feel that if it hasnt happened yet, it wont. Either i cannot or i have been VERY lucky not to have gotten pregnant before i was ready. Anyway, the reason i will always remember this is because i know that if i can and do ever get pregnant, it will be a very hard one. i have been told many times that i would be considered high risk and that means lots of bed rest. i would never want to go through what you went through; but the way you cherish what time you did have is very special and your strength is an inspiration. i wish you the best and will always remember your beautiful baby boy.
Kristin,
Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. It’s so sincere and well-written. In my opinion, miscarriage and pregnancy loss aren’t talked about enough, and I think that we feel more alone when it happens as a result. It was very brave (and I can imagine, theraputic), for you to tell your story…I admire you for your strength and compassion. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Kristin,
First of all, I think that you are one brave lady!
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience with all of us that follow you everyday. Baby Andrew has touch my heart in so many ways that I cannot express.
May god grant you and your family the peace and solace that you deserve.
Take good care of you and your family.
Thank you for sharing your story – and the picture or your sweet son. I cried as I read it. As another commenter said, I’m going to hug my babies a little bit tighter tonight.
This is my first time reading your blog when I stumbled across your story. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending a little prayer your way. -Dana
For selfish reasons, I thank you for putting up your story. It helps some of us cope too. What a strong woman you are for sharing and I pray God brings you peace. Keep trusting in Him.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am crying, hurting and praying right along with you. The God that saved Emily’s life is the same God that gave you Andrew’s short life. He LOVES you and all his children, this is all in his plan. It is not for us to understand his plan but to know that everything he does is for His own glory.
Wow, you are an AMAZING and STRONG woman! I pray that the Lord will give you peace in your heart. Thank you for sharing the story of your son. He is a precious angel and will watch over you and your family. This has touched my much more that I would ever think a couponing blog would! God Bless You!
Kristin,
That was a beautiful tribute to Andrew. I want you to know that he was beautiful. At first I wasn’t going to look, but I decided that as a blogging friend of yours, I needed to. When I saw the prints last week, I cried that whole evening for you. I don’t know you face to face personally but I feel like we have a bond due to this blog and emails we have shared. I hate that you are in Moody and I in Enterprise… I wish I could have been there for you, even if it were too cook a meal. Please know that you and your family are being prayed for by so many, including my family. You are a strong and amazing woman. I am blessed have this blog in my life because you are true inspiration. Know that the Lord’s hedge of protection is around you. I have said it before and will again… when life’s turmoil is so strong that it knocks us to our knees, we are in the BEST position to bow before the Lord. I know you and your family are my family in Christ, and that blesses me greatly. I will continue to lift you up my friend. Blessings and <3!
Lori
Kristin,
Thank you for sharing your story and Andrew’s life with all of us. Your strength is amazing and inspiring. I pray that God will continue to help you and your family heal. May you always know that you are in so many people’s thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.
Many hugs being sent your way,
Lea
Kristin,
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
I am new to the whole couponing “thing”, but have been enjoying your site for the last month or so.I am constantly bragging about your site to others and recommending they check it out.I just wanted to send you a quick msg to let you know that even though we have never met, I feel for you, and my heart breaks for your loss.I can understand it in two different ways, first of all, because I have had a miscarriage(my 2nd child), and also, because I am a L&D nurse, and have been a part of this kind of experience so many times, I have unfortunately lost count.My own personal experience was different, I was very early, and only had to have a D&C.Oh, how my heart broke.I had plans for my child…I had already invisioned what it would be like to hold,cuddle,kiss,nurse,smell him/her.I had wanted that child so badly.In my mind, I know that the Lord never gives us anything we can not handle, but, in my heart, I wondered.I have since had 2 more health pregnancies, and have three amazing children(Savannah-12,Seth-9, and Lydia-6).I thank God for them everyday. As I mentioned, I also am a L&D nurse, and have been for 18 years(here in the B’ham area).It never gets any easier…to be a part of one of the hardest and most trying/emotional situations that most young parents ever have to deal with.I have shed tear,after tear with my patients, and my heart has broken for them all. One of the best, most healing,therapeutic,genuine comments that I have ever heard, came from a little girl whose sibling had just been born sleeping…she said…”Mommy, don’t worry…as much as you loved him….God loved him more.”(WOW!!!!!) I think about that little girl everytime God gives me the opportunity to be a part of this process/experience, and I always tell my patients of her comment. Maybe it helps them. Healing comes with time, and with time, comes the understanding of God’s will.I sincerely hope that you will continue to lean on God, and put your faith in him that he does know exactly what we need, when we need it. It is all of our life experiences that make us who we are, and help us to grow, and influence others.I also pray that within this horrible experience, you have found peace, and seen the beauty, and felt the love of your family.I hope that your daily blogging also helps to heal you.We all travel a different road when it comes to mending our broken hearts, but I hope yours is smooth, and straight, and as short as possible…but don’t forget that stops along the way are expected, and necessary in every journey.Wishing you and your family the best!Take care!!
Thank you for introducing us to Andrew, he is beautiful! Your story was so touching. I myself have a Jonathan Andrew. It is so hard for us to comprehend eternity & that life here is so short. Steven Curtis Chapman has a great song, We Are Not Home Yet, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kf5FLngLWY0. Andrew is Home waiting fir you & although it seems so far away when you will be with him you will have eternity with him. Andrew is with the One who can truly love him best. It’s hard to fathom as a mom that there is someone who loves my children more than me but God does. I once heard a mom who lost her baby say “I always thought I’d be at heaven’s gates to introduce my children to Jesus, this baby will be there to introduce me.”
I’m praying for peace and strength for you and your family, especially for your marriage that this will be a time of growing even closer together.
In Christ,
Jen
I am so sorry for your loss. I have two babies in heaven. Your precious Andrew has the most perfectly shaped head. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Amanda
That was a beautiful story, by a beautiful woman. As I sat there reading Andrew’s story I was crying so many tears and I am amazed at how well you are doing. You are a very strong woman with alot of love in her heart and I see that come out through what you wrote. May God continue to be with you as you face each coming day.
On a side note. I love what Emily said about Toy Story 3. I agree it was very scary. It’s amazing how in tune kids are to their moms and how she knew even before you told her.
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
Thank you, Kristen, for sharing your story with us. My love and hugs are with you and your family. God bless you all.
Kristen,
You are truley a strong woman. That was one of the most amazing stories. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
You are such a strong women. That was a beautiful story of your son’s life.
I read this at work, trying not to cry. That was a beautifully written tribute to your son, family, and the time you’ve spent together. Thank you for sharing with us.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your story touched my heart. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I will continue to pray for you and your family. You are incredibly brave for sharing your story with everyone. It reminds us all to hug our kids just a little tighter than we usually do. God Bless.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I feel like Andrew is now a part of my life. I looked at his picture; what an angel. Kristin, you are an amazing and inspiring Mom; so brave. The Lord sent your family Andrew for a reason. Be still and you will know.
Sending hugs to you today.
Though I have never met you I still hurt for you. I’m so sorry for you loss. You are a wonder person and I feel so bad for what you have gone through. Time heals all wounds, it will get better. You are doing an awesome job!!!
I am very sorry for your loss, Kristin. That was an amazing story about your little angel and I hope & pray that God is with you and your family during this time. Thanks so much for sharing this life journey with us!
Kristen,
What a beautiful way to honor Andrew’s life. I am praying, and will continue to pray for healing for your heart. You are right, every life (no matter how brief) is worth remembering and celebrating. Through the tears and pain we don’t understand why the Lord chose to take Andrew home. But I hold on by knowing that we will be reunited with our loved ones in Heaven someday. There will be no tears, no pain, praise the Lord!
Much love to your family…..
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope God will continue to take care of you and your family during this very difficult time. I know there are truly no words that can help you but please remember what your doctor said you did nothing wrong; God wanted/needed Andrew more.
Kristen,
What a beautifully written story. I am sorry for your loss. You are a truely amazing woman/mother/wife/daughter.