This is a story about a girl and her cheese.
That girl is me. And that cheese? That cheese is all the cheese. It is the metaphorical cheese, but it is also the literal cheese. Everything is cheese. Cheese is my co-pilot.
Okay, so check it, the last few grocery trips there have not been chicken breasts. This week, I was at the doors at 7:59am and beelined for the poultry section. I was rewarded with getting two packages (the max allowed) of chicken breasts. Nothing could make this trip better. I rode over to the deli on the wings of love.
My favorite deli worker, who knows my order, was there. She had already started my pepperoni before I even made it to the counter. Some days, Kroger, some days you are magical.
My meats in my hands and a fond farewell to my deli friend, I turned around, planning on heading to produce. That’s when I saw it.
A tray of cheese, a mountain of cheese, cheese as far as the eye could see, all being marked down before my very eyes. The cheese monger was working diligently, stickering all the Manager’s Special cheeses. This was the moment I have been waiting for my entire life. What do I do? Act natural! Don’t stare at her, you’re being creepy. Don’t stare at the cheese, that’s even creepier. Move away from the deli, slowly, slowly, okay, not that slow.
I moved my cart to the cupcake display, in-between the deli and the cheese station. Here, I rationalized, I would be able to keep an eye on the cheese but I would be camouflaged by the cupcakes.
It was all going fine…at first. If you didn’t know I was casing the cheese joint, you might have thought I was very indecisive about cupcakes. And I would have let you think that, because it helped me maintain my vantage point. But then someone approached who actually did want cupcakes. They waited politely, patiently, for a minute, while I internally freaked out. “Ahhhh, this person wants cupcakes! This is my spot! Where will I go? What will I do? What shall become of me?? THINK OF THE CHEESE.”
I moved over to the bread station, which was in direct line of sight of the cheese. But bread is not as good to hide behind as cupcakes. To compound the issue, I now was looking distinctly creepy, just loitering by the bread after getting kicked out of my cupcake hole. The person buying the cupcakes also didn’t do me any favors, since they picked their cupcakes out and were on the move, while I just stood there, marooned in the baked goods section.
My fight or flight must have kicked in because before I knew it my body was moving, even as my brain was like, “stop! This is very dumb! You have no plan!” See what my body was doing was just walking in circles around the baked goods. Not looking at any item. Just pushing my cart in circles. Like a shark. Or someone who is unhinged. “Stop, body! Think this through!” My brain entreated. “Enough thinking,” my body responded. “The time has come for action. No rest until there is cheese in this cart!”
After a few laps that felt like a marathon, the cheese monger appeared to be done. She turned away as I cautiously approached the cheese tray. I reached a hand to a ball of mozzarella that was marked down to $.99. Ninety nine cents! She quickly turned back around, and I was caught cheese handed!
“Um, excuse me, hi, hello, are these cheeses for sale?”
Keep in mind, I am wearing a mask. So it is very possible what she heard was, “Yum, I lose tea by jello, four sneezes a pail?” I’m looking at her like an street urchin from a Dickens novel. Please ma’m, may I have some cheese?
“This cheese is for sale! I just marked it down, actually.” Oh, I know. “Did you know that we have a basket on the next aisle where we keep the sale cheese?” Yes, of course I know. I practically live in that cheese basket. I should have my mail forwarded there. But I have never seen a selection or spread like this.
Four cheeses tucked into my cart, I proceeded to buy food for the rest of my family.
- Avocados (4)-$3.46. *Digital Coupon* for $.50 off three. So I got four.
- Bananas, 2.61 lb-$1.54.
- Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream (4)-$9.96. Buy 5, Save $5 brought them down to $2.49 each.
- Beech Nut Baby Food Packets (8)-$8.
- Blueberries, 18 oz (2)-$5. In-store sale.
- Boar’s Head Pepperoni, .75 lb-$6.83.
- Creamette Pasta (1)-$1.25.
- Dutch Gouda-$1.52. Manager’s Special!
- Fuji Apples, 3.82 lb-$4.93.
- Green Grapes, 2.87 lb-$2.53. In-store sale, $.88 a pound.
- Heritage Farm Chicken Breasts, 9.51 lbs-$18.93.
- Kroger Pasta (1)-$1.
- Kroger Ground Turkey, 3 lb-$8.99. Buy 5, Save $5 still happening!
- Kroger Milk, .5 gal-$.99.
- Merry Mozzarella Ball-$.99. Manager’s Special!
- Piave Cheese-$2.24. Manager’s Special!
- Private Selection Bread -$1.99.
- Private Selection Wildflower Turkey, 1 lb-$8.47.
- Red Gold Canned Tomatoes (3)-$3.
- Red Grapes, 2.24 lb-$1.97. In-store sale, $.88 a pound.
- Red Leaf Lettuce, 1.81 lb-$3.06.
- Red Tomatoes, 1.17 lb-$2.33.
- Robusto Cheese-$3.89. Manager’s Special!
- Roma Tomato, .90 lb-$.89.
- Silk Almond Milk, .5 gal-$2.99.
- Strawberries, 2 lb-$3.99.
- Watermelon-$3.99.
- Apps I’ll submit to: Fetch Rewards, CoinOut, Shopkick (150 kicks for Blueberries)
Total Budget: $92.76
Total Spent: $111.73
Deducted from Next Week: $18.97
What do you do when you come upon merchandise being clearanced before your very eyes? I bet you play it off a lot cooler than I do. Tell me how to be cool in the comments!
Kristen B. is wife to the best Prince around, mama to the spunkiest little princesses, and lover of all things Disney. She started her savings journey five years ago and is now dedicated to making her family’s wishes come true one coupon at a time. She is so excited to take her love of saving to the next level and share her journey with you! Click here to catch up on Kristen’s Savings and join in on your own savings adventure!